Dumb Shit the Bible Says

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. 'Go up, baldhead,' they shouted, 'go up, baldhead!'"

"The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces."

— 2 Kings 2:23-24

So let me get this straight. Some children dared to call this guy bald—and I'm assuming he was in fact a baldhead—and God decided that this just could not stand, and that the appropriate punishment for this insult was to send fucking bears to tear off their limbs. Bears. No, God. Not cool.