Dumb Shit the Bible Says

"Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish."

— Proverbs 31:6

Do me a favor — if I'm either perishing or anguishing, give me some fucking medicine. I don't need anything to drink. That's called thirsty. When I'm thirsty, I'll say thirsty. When I say I'm fucking perishing, I'm referring to death.